Socializing is the new Prospecting

When I first started with network marketing we were told to go out prospecting.  That meant we went out specifically looking for people to talk to about our business.  Guess what that didn't work out real well for me.  I tried it and did quite a lot of it, but it never seemed to get me anywhere.

Fast forward quite a few years and here I am at it again.  The difference is that while there are still a few people out doing the same things I was taught to do early on in the business, most have turned away from that concept because it didn't work for most people.

People don't want to be approached by complete strangers or fringe acquaintances, whether online or in person, and be given a sales pitch.

When I first started using social media to market my businesses that was what I thought I was being taught to do.  I have now seen the error of my ways.  I no longer message people I barely know with my business or opportunity.

I haven't abandoned my social media marketing I just do it a different way.  I no longer post complete sales posts.  I will mention my business in passing unless there is a special offer or event that I want to make people aware of.

Direct sales has become about building trust and relationships.  I am beginning to finally understand what that means.  I no longer try to build my business by abruptly bringing up my business.  If through the course of a conversation I see where one of my businesses may be of benefit to someone then I will bring it up.

Today was  great practice for me.  I took my daughter to the park.  I could have approached every parent there that had children the age my products were developed for, but I didn't.  In stead I started up a conversation with someone who had a child playing near mine.  Her daughter was a little young for my Fundanoodle business.  Instead I started talking about home school and she said that her husband was homeschooled  so they were big supporters of it.  As the conversation continued I found out that she and her husband were Real Estate agents while her husband was going to school.

Rather than market the products that I sell to her, I asked her if she would be interested in joining a mastermind and referral group.  She is very interested in it and I now have her name to connect with on social media.  If she joins with our group I will be able to give her further information on my direct sales companies.

This is a new concept for me and I am really working hard to develop these relationships instead of throwing my businesses in their face hoping they will want it.  I guess that means that even an old dog like me can learn new tricks.

Summer marketing troubles

Summertime is here and that means that schedules and activities change based on school being out and the weather being warm.  How do you keep up your own drive when others seem to use summer as downtime?

Direct sales can be quite seasonal.  The beginning of the year tends to be slow if you don't set yourself up for a busy schedule.  Spring begins to pick-up as people get their tax money in,  Summer seems to slow down as kids are out of school and people take vacations.  Then come fall things start to pick-up again with activity really picking up for the holiday season.

If you understand the cyclical nature of direct sales then it is easier to keep frustration at bay.  If things seem slow realize that is quite normal.  Then if you don't like it work more instead of less.

Summer is an excellent time for outdoor vendor events.   I have been able to fill my schedule with these as I work to book party dates for my business.  I introduce my product to more people and I have the opportunity to practice listening and meeting needs of the people I talk to.

I started my fundanoodle business as things were winding down for summer and so I wasn't able to set my summer up for writing camps or other summer marketing campaigns.  I hope to be able to do so next year.

In the meantime I will continue to talk about Fundanoodle, do my follow-ups with people I do make contact with and work to build a busy schedule for the fall and holiday season.  I have 3 events to do in July and two of them are for educators or school fundraisers.

I do need to work on reaching out to those parents that I talk to at the library.  One of these days I will start opening my mouth about what I do with them as well.

Life as a Home Schooling Momprenuer.

Yesterday was a very busy day.  I had so much to do with very little free time.  I had some choices to make.  As a Home schooling Momprenuer, my life can be routine and sometimes not so much.  The great thing about my lifestyle is the flexibility that I have and my routine can change at a moments notice.

So yesterday I decided to skip school except for 20 minutes of reading with my daughter.  I had a busy day planned with cleaning the house included in anticipation of guests in the evening.

I spent my morning cleaning the house, doing the laundry, doing my computerized business tasks, reading with my daughter etc.  The after noon and evening hours is where it got busy.

I am part of a group called Business Among Moms.  The leader of our group has twin boys that are about the same age as my daughter and it was their birthday.  They were having a pool party.  It was great because there were other Mom's from the group a well and we spent the time not only socializing but talking about what we were doing in our businesses and helping each other out.  I was given an additional place to market my Fundanoodle Business for free.  Doing business by the pool.  Who would have ever thought.

I did leave the party early so that I could make dinner for my family before my Book Club arrived at 7PM.  Even thought I do have a family and a business I do need to have pursuits that are just for me and leading a book club enriches me and makes me read books I wouldn't otherwise choose to read.  Its a good thing and our selection for next month is definitely outside of the box.  We will be reading the first book in a science fiction trilogy written by C. S. Lewis and its not the Narnia series.

Being a Momprenuer allows me to work in the nooks and cranies of my life.  Yes there are scheduled meetings and vendor opportunities as well as organized sales presentations, but I can work my own hours and find unexpected networking opportunities anywhere I go.

Being able to help parents with small children prepare for writing and have fun while I do it is more than I ever thought I would be able to do.  I am working toward my full potential and look forward to the day that I finally realize it.

Book Review: The Orphan Keeper

Today I want to review The Orphan Keeper by Cameron Wright.  This book is based on a true story about a boy who was taken from his family in India and sent to America to be adopted.

This is a very thought provoking book.  You are able to see the cultural differences between America and India and how those who leave India continue to observe those cultural differences. Things such as arranged marriages and the boiling of the milk ceremonies still take place even for those who have converted to Christianity or no longer follow the Hindu Gods.

This is a great book for a Book club as there are discussion questions at the back.  After looking at those questions I realized that there are many more that could have been included that weren't.  My Step-Father was born in India so this book gave me a little more insight into his cultural background as well.

In conclusion I want to leave you with something to think about.  Is it right to remove a child from their families and cultures and place them in a different culture even if it means the child's living conditions and treatment are better?  This story is not isolated.  Think about the Native American foster program that ran up until the 90's.

Monday Madness

Its that time of the week again.  You know the one. The one where you have to get back into  routine after a busy weekend.  Yep its Monday again.

I seem to usually like Monday's.  I seem to see each new week as a brand new beginning. I leave the mistakes of last week behind and focus on what I can do better this week.  My Mom was in town last week so I was so off schedule it wasn't funny.  She left Thursday, but I just couldn't seem to get back into my usual weekday routine after that.

So today was not just get back into a routine after a crazy weekend, but get back into routine after a crazy week.  I am getting things done, but I just feel like I am lagging behind and not wanting to do it right now.

The good news is that I have over half of my routine done.  The bad news is that I still have a couple of hours of things to do.

In the summer it gets hot and its hard to want to do more than laze around and do nothing anyway.  So Today I am doing some little tricks to get it all done.  After I got back from my grocery shopping I told myself that I couldn't do my games or read until I got the chores done.  

I have put the groceries away, Finished laundry, changed bedding and now I am working on my blog.  Its only been a little over an hour so I am feeling productive once again.  I still need to do dishes, vacuuming and 30 minutes of personal development reading.

After those are done tonight is family time with dinner to be made.  I have made some business posts this morning so except for a conference call tonight late than the rest of the time is mine.

Getting up at 7 instead of 5:30 leaves me feeling not as productive, but with late night conference calls and a daughter that doesn't want to get up at 7:30 I am trying to find a better schedule that suits my needs.  Maybe I should try 6:30 and getting my daughter up at 8:30 instead.

In the meantime I still feel like I have a million things to do even though I don't and so its time to get back to work.

Movie Review: Wonder Woman

Last Wednesday I went to see the movie Wonder Woman.  On the surface it was a great action filled adventure full of explosions and special effects.  If you dig a little deeper you will find a story line that has a much deeper meaning.

This first movie starts out with a picture and then begins the back story of how that picture came to be.  This story begins by showing Diana as a young girl.  Diana's mother the queen wanted to protect her child, but Diana's aunt wanted to teach her to protect herself.

As the story goes on you find that Diana was not told the full story of who she was and what her purpose was to be.

The Amazon's world was invaded by the ongoing World War I bringing Diana's desire to help the humans to the story.

As Diana enters the world her purpose is to go after the villian of the story, but who exactly is that?


Diana soon finds out that all is not as it seems.  Her innocent eyes become opened and she is forced to face some realities.  Things such as evil is not always obvious.  Humans are not perfect even without the influence of the bad guy and she was not exactly who she thought she was.

Overall it was a good movie.  You can enjoy the surface entertainment or you can dig deeper into the hidden intellectual offerings.  Either activity leaves you with a good feeling.

When life struggles and business struggles collide

Life does not always go the way that we want them to.  Every time that we set goal and dreams we do so with great expectations of smooth sailing along the way.  Things happen in life that are unexpected just as things in business can happen unexpectedly.  Many of us try to compartmentalize our business and personal life and try not to bring the problems from one to another.  What do you do when you are having problems in both and they seem to be affecting each other?

Before you do anything rash like quit, take a step back.  Stop looking at your struggles as a whole.  If you look at all the things not working right it can overwhelm you to the point where you don't know where to start and instead do nothing.  Start looking at what is going right as well.  You may find that things are not as bad as it seems.

Look at each issue one at a time.  As you evaluate each issue determine if it can be addressed quickly or if it needs a lot of attention.  Address the little things 1st.  For the larger issues figure out what can be worked on by you and figure out what you need to ask for help on.  Help doesn't need to come from a person necessarily it may just be knowledge that you are lacking.

When you are dealing with struggles both in your personal life and in your business life its time to look at your priorities.  What struggles are a result of not having your priorities and goals in alignment?  Fix those by focusing once again on those priorities.

After you  have evaluated each struggle then you can form a plan to address it.

Sometimes the personal struggle you are facing such as health issues or family issues may require you to put your business aside for a time.  Examples of this are you are working so much on building your business that your personal relationships are neglected to the point of teetering on their demise.  Either you let go of the relationships which may not be in your best interests or you back off of the business to rebuild the relationships.  The other example is a serious health crisis where you only have so much energy and most of it needs to go to recovery.  In that case you may have to close your business interests and begin again after the health crisis is over.


Overall remember there is always a way through.  The way may not be easy or quick but the road is there.  Don't give up simply because you feel to overwhelmed.  Its usually the most difficult right before a major breakthrough.

Tread Carefully When Speaking of a Competitors Products

I am currently involved in a little experiment.  I am trying a competitors product and comparing it to the product that I sell.  Doing this I am taking careful steps to do it honestly and with integrity.

Each week as I am participating in this little experiment I am reporting on my progress using Facebook.  Now, I am using the product and company names while I do this.

Today I was reporting on the results of 5 days of using the competitors products.  The results were not even what I was expecting and I took great care to just record the result and observations.  The two people on my feed who are selling this product took notice and started trying to go down the road that I was making conclusions or using the product incorrectly or that I hadn't tried it for long enough.

Even with the care that I took to not make conclusions at this early point in my experiment it still wasn't perceived that way.  I still have 4 weeks left in the experiment.

As a marketer it is a good idea to recognize that putting down or using derogatory terms about your competition is not the best way to attract people to your product.  It doesn't matter what kind of product you are marketing be it a person in a political campaign, an idea or a physical product of some kind.  People do not like to hear you talk about why the other product is bad.  People do want to hear why your product is good and why it would  benefit them.

With both of the product lines that I sell I even go so far as to show how my products can enhance the use of the competitors products.

I firmly believe that there is enough success in direct sales for everyone who works at it to get it.  There is no need to step on other people's, companies, or product's toes in order to do it.

So remember when asked about your competitor, pay them a compliment and then show how your product will better benefit your prospective customer rather than insulting your competitor.  You will find your audience more receptive.

Where do you find opportunities to improve your skills?

Its Friday and most people are looking forward to the weekend.  I am too but for a very different reason.  Tomorrow is my 1st vendor event with my newest business venture.  This week I have run off raffle tickets and flyers, made sure I had order forms and gotten out my calendar to block out all of my unavailable dates.

Fundnoodle is so new that anytime that I speak the name I get a what is that?  I personally think that is great because I have an opportunity to introduce my business to a new person every time I say the name.  I don't exactly have inventory to sell at this time, but instead I can offer the lower shipping cost for a party by having sales ordered and having them sent to my house where I will deliver them to the person who ordered it.

Yes I would love to have some sales, but more importantly I am looking for at least a couple of bookings.  This is how a direct sales party company works.  We don't work traditional hours but we do work.  At least we work if we are serious about having a successful business.

I am always looking for new and innovative ways to introduce people to what I do.  The biggest challenge that I have is to give out small amounts of information and wait for the customer or prospect to ask for more.  I instinctively want to spout everything that I know as quickly as I can.

Tomorrow I hope to do things much differently.  I plan to listen more than I speak.  I plan to generate interest by giving a small amount of info unless they ask me for more.  I want to pay attention to those who come to my table and make them feel important.  I want to ask them about what they are looking for and try to meet that need.

I am hoping that by doing things differently I will have different results.  Ultimately yes my goal for tomorrow is sales and bookings, but if I can practice all the skills that I have been reading about and trying to incorporate into the way I conduct my business then that will be even better.

Each vendor event, Playdate, Product presentation and educational fair is another opportunity to practice and hone my skills in direct marketing.  Each time I help someone with their business it is an opportunity to practice and hone my leadership skills.

The only way to improve is to practice and the only times I get to practice is when I am actually performing the tasks I need to perform in the working of my business.  There are no short cuts.

Fitness, Parenting and Running a Business

Each day is a new day.  I wake up with a long list of things to get done each day.  Most of us do.  Between trying to take care of myself through exercise, getting enough sleep and eating right, Raising my 6 year old child, and working to build a profitable business, life can sometimes seem overwhelming.

I am also a Christian and there is one thing that I have learned and kind of dubbed the 11th commandment.  Thou Salt not walk faster than you are able.  If you are not a Christian that is okay because this applies to you as well.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day.  Yes we can optimize them through great time management, but we still have the same 24 hours.  Our time should be allocated according to our priorities, but that is not always the case.

I walk a fine line between taking care of my own needs, taking care of my families needs and taking care of my businesses needs.  Sometimes one of those needs must override the other two sets of needs.  This is not uncommon when you wear many hats. We can only do so much.

Finding that balance between all the needs that are calling to be addressed is not always easy.  Sometimes its not even possible.  

As much as I would like to run my business like a corporate engine, its not possible for me right now, at least not if I want to make my family a priority, and that means that I may not achieve my dreams as quickly as I would like.  

I still have a steep learning curve when it comes to parts of my business and that means that my business growth is dictated by my knowledge and skill.  Trying to do more than I am ready for can lead to frustration, disappointment and the desire to quit.  Slowly adjusting my business practices as I learn new things will bring growth at a rate that is handleable for me until I get to the point that my business is ready to explode.  When that happens I will be ready for it.

Until then, I focus on my priorities and do the activities required to meet the needs that I am able to right now.  

Does the average life have to be mundane?

Some days I find it difficult to come up with something to write.  I don't really want to write about the same things over and over again.  If I did I would never get any readers.  I am an ordinary housewife trying to live an extraordinary life.  Most of my days are routine and full of household chores, teaching my 6 year old and trying to come up with ways to expand my circle of influence so that I can build a successful direct sales marketing business.

As I go through life I try to find little things that I can do in order to get outside the mundane life that I lead.  I used to disappear inside a book and the fantasy world it created.  Now I look for ways to reach out to new people, find new experiences and pursue new avenues to learn new things.

Most of us don't get to live the kind of life where millions adore us and know who we are.  Most of us aren't pursuing major discoveries that can change the world and most of us don't have the kind of money it takes to create foundations that will help large amounts of people.  Most of us are living an average life.

So if you are living the average life, how can you make a difference?  There are so many ways and they are too numerous to count.

It can be the simplest of things that can do the most good.  A smile to the person passing you on the street.  A kind word to someone having a bad day.  Helping someone carry their groceries or other heavy objects.  These little things can have an amazing ripple effect where you never know where your one good deed will lead.

Some of you may say that's great, but it is not enough.  You may not think it matters much but to that one person you helped it matters a great deal.

So maybe you are looking for a greater impact upon the world.  That kind of impact doesn't usually fall into your lap.  To have great impact on the world around you it takes an intentional plan to do so.  You start by asking yourself what kind of impact on the world do you want to have.  Then you start asking questions such as what does that look like and how do I make it happen.  You start doing your research on what it is you need to do to make that impact and you begin to plan a process that will help you do so.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the average life left more of a good impact on the world than it currently does today?  In order for that to happen it  is those who live the average life that have to step up to the plate and make that change possible.

If you live an average life like I do start asking yourself what can you do to increase your good impact on the world and watch what happens.

Growing as a leader

Last week I did something new for me.  I am with a fairly new Direct Sales company and they are still forming their training procedures.  As I saw posts in the group Facebook page I noticed a need from several People.  I decided to do something about it.

I am very new to Facebook Live and I am really new to the company.  I felt that I had something of value to offer the group so on my own without asking I decided to hold a Facebook live to address a need that I saw in the group.  I didn't ask anyone if I could do it and I didn't plan it out very well.  The quality of the recording was not necessarily the best and I did not get many comments on it.  I only had 2 people attend as well.  That was all part of the plan because I was nervous and didn't want a lot of live attendees.  Once I posted it though I couldn't take it back.

Last night in our weekly national sales call I was thanked for doing it.  I felt pretty good about the pat on the back but thought that maybe next time I should ask first and be better organized.

Right now I do not have a team of my own, but I hope to change that soon.  In the meantime I am trying to help the company out by offering tips and suggestions that I have seen be successful in other direct sales party based companies.  I emailed the corporate offices about some suggested additions to our hostess program and I have come up with a few proposals of classes to offer at our yearly conference taking place in February.

I am by no means an expert, but I want to develop the leadership skills that I know that I have not had a chance to develop and I am seeing my first opportunity to do so.  I have never been this bold before and I am really liking the results that I am seeing.

I have a lot planned in the coming months with this new company and hope to be able to accomplish more in the first year with them than I have with any other company.  I hope that with all the personal and business development that I am doing I will be able to start attracting people who want to do the same.

I am trying to travel a very thin line between being a leader and being pushy and intrusive.  I hope that I am accomplishing what I intended.

If you would like to grow yourself as a leader you need to start stepping out of your comfort zone and start taking the lead where you see a need.  Take courage and be bold.  It will get easier the more you do it.

Family, Business and what to avoid.

We all want to believe that our families will treat us fairly if we decide to go into business with them. Many times that is the case.  Often times that is not the case.  I have witnessed my husband go into business with family a few times.  None of the times have worked out in his favor.

The first time my husband had an idea for a business.  He told my brother-in-law about it and then moved on.  A few weeks later the brother- in-law comes back and says my step-father wants to invest $11,000.00 in the business because I told him we could double it.  I asked questions like what happens if the business goes under?  What will that investor expect?  We should get some things in writing and was told by the two of them they were not worried about it.  Guess what because my husband didn't stick to his original business plan the business went under.  You guessed it not having anything in writing came back to bite us.

The 2nd time my husband went into business with family was as an employee.  His Father approached him and asked him to come work for his new company.  My husband had a great job where the company was paying for him to go to college and without really considering the consequences left his good job to work for his Dad.  Here is where the problem began.  His Dad had a partner who was quite dishonest and did everything in his power to make the work environment hostile to my husband so he wouldn't stay on.  My husband discovered a 2nd set of books and told his Dad, but was of course was brushed off.  After being there for 4 years without a raise he was told by the partner that it would be another 8 before he saw a raise. My husband began looking for another job which did not work out and we spent years trying to recover.

The current situation began at a time when we were just beginning to recover from my husband's previous decisions.  His site was going to be shut down and he was going to try to find a lateral transfer within the company.  Enter his Father once again.  He had bought out the partner whom he had finally discovered was as corrupt as my husband had suggested.  He proceeded to ask my husband to come back at a lower salary than he was then making.  Here was the clincher he promised to give the business to my husband.  I will admit that the first year in business my husband got 2 raises to bring him to just under what he was making in his former company.  That was 2014.  We have not seen a raise since then or the promised shares.  We just received a copy of my Father-in-Law's will.  The company is to be divided between my husband and his 2 sisters instead of being given to him as promised.

This is a tale of caution.  Going into business with family can work out very well and has done so for many companies.  In order to protect your interests though make sure you get all agreements and promises in writing.  It may feel disloyal to cover the legal bases, but I assure you that those legal bases will make sure there is no miscommunication or misunderstandings, as well as make sure that you have some kind of legal assurances that what you are offered is what you will receive.  Even though you are going into business with family it is best that you treat all business agreements as if they were not family.  It is better for the business and it is better for the individual family members.

Self Employment and a flexible schedule

Yesterday I took the time off from my business responsibilities to take care of some homeschool responsibilities.  My daughter as part of her homeschool co-op is part of a Frontier Girls troop.  I am not the founder or leader of this troop, but I have been helping out this year as an extra pair of hands and eyes.  Wednesday to Thursday was our yearly campout.  I was unable to attend the overnight part due to other family responsibilities and was called home early to help out with an older daughter who is having a very difficult 1st pregnancy and tri-mester.

The part of the campout I got to participate in was a nature hike in First Landing State Park in Virginia Beach, Virginia.  We had 22 children on this hike with 4 adults to keep things under control.  We had purchased a guide so we got to learn all sorts of new things along this hike that I hadn't known before.  It was a good time.

This is the reason that I do not have a traditional job.  Being self employed in the direct marketing field allows me to have something to actively work on for my own well being while being available for my family whenever they may need me.

having a flexible schedule does not mean that I do not have a schedule.  I very much do.  I spend time daily doing things to promote my business, serve customers or work on developing mu business and leadership skills.

I learned many years ago that if your flexible schedule isn't planned out a bit then you will never do anything toward your business.  Sometimes that means that I plan things around my work schedule and sometimes that means that I plan work around my family schedule.

Setting aside planned office hours when you have your own business is imperative to success.  Those hours do not have to be at the same time everyday, but you do need to have them consistently on a weekly basis.

In direct sales I do have the flexibility of finding unexpected opportunities when I am out and about, but when you are in sales or owner of a company you are on the lookout for and take advantage of whatever opportunities you find.  My husband who is being groomed to rake over his father's industrial size pressure washer business is doing this all the time as well.

Being self employed does allow you to be flexible, but if you find your flexible being never, you are not running a business.

Professional Development for Business Building

Everyone starts somewhere with a limited knowledge.  When it comes to starting and growing a business this is no exception.  Even if you have a college PHD in business there are still things that you can learn when it comes to business.

I have been involved in direct sales for over 20 years off and on.  That being said the biggest thing I have learned recently is how much I don't know about my chosen field.  Things have changed so much over the development in the field of direct sales that there is a constant stream of new and innovative ideas being introduced.

There are several avenues that I have chosen to pursue in order to gain knowledge.  First of all there are a lot of books both classic and contemporary that are filled with great nuggets of knowledge.  I have set a goal of reading 30 minutes of personal or professional enrichment materials 5 days a week as part of my regular business activities.

There are mastermind and meetup groups.  This is where you meet up with like minded individuals and share ideas while networking and expanding your sphere of influence.  This is a great tool because not only do you learn new things but you gain valuable business contacts.

I also have access to company offered trainings, meetings, leadership and conference calls.  If you are with a direct sales company, these tools are invaluable to learning about your products, how your company works and what specials and incentives are being offered.

I have looked at various webinars and coaches and have even signed up for a few of them.  I find that both of them can offer tidbits of information that are readily available elsewhere, but that information is just the hook to get you to pay for a product or service that they offer promising more information or leads.  I personally avoid them unless I get a recommendation from someone else.

The final avenue that I have found is online courses.  There are many sites such as Coursera or Open 2 Learning that offer free online enrichment courses.  I am currently taking one on Early Childhood Learning to supplement my knowledge and better market my Fundanoodle Learning Products.

The bottom line is that no one knows everything about their field.  New and innovative ideas are being brought to light all the time.  Figure out what you think you need to know and seek after that knowledge.  You may find that you know less than you thought.

Taking steps to improve your skill set in your chosen profession will only help you to build your business in the end. Invest in yourself now for a better ability to reach your goals and dreams in the future.

Summer Brain Drain

There was a few years ago that I started hearing about how children lose a part of what they learned during the school year over the summer.  At the time I thought this was a whole lot of garbage.  When I was in school the first few weeks in school were always boring as we went over things we had gone over the year before.  I never really lost learning over the summer so I thought that this was the way it had to be with everyone else.

So this is where I had to step aside and remember, my childhood wasn't like everyone else's.  My parents were teachers so my summer was always filled with reading and other learning activities.  The library was a favorite place to go and then we were always doing some kind of craft or simple and math drills.  This was a normal part of life for me.  As a result my brain stayed engaged over the summer and I didn't suffer from summer brain drain.

Summer can still be a very fun time even when you are doing learning activities.  It doesn't take hours a day of learning activities to prevent that summer brain drain.  All it takes is setting aside regular reading time daily.  Every library has a summer reading program that is free and offers incentives for children who read.  20 minutes a day is all that you need to keep their reading skills current.

Having your kids keep a journal of their summer activities will help them with and beginning of year "what did you do over the summer?"  assignments as well as keep their writing and thinking skills up to date.  Many libraries have entertainment programs where there is some kind of stem presentation and activities.

If you look around you can find many free but fun summer learning activities that you can have your child participate in. Even having your child help you bake can help with math.  Taking 20 minutes to read and 20 minutes to do work out of a summer bridge workbook along with some fun learning activities is all that it will take to prevent summer brain drain from happening to your child.

Self discipline versus instant gratification

Have you heard of the marshmallow test?  You know the one that puts little kids in the room with a marshmallow and then are told if they can wait 15 minutes they can have 5.  The study goes on to show that those who were able to wait those 15 minutes are more likely to be able to succeed in life.

So I have a few marshmallows in my life.  Things like sugar, reading, being lazy etc.  These things give me instant gratification right now.  What does this instant gratification give me?  It gives me a sweet taste right now but a gain in weight and health problems later.  Reading allows me to disappear into another world right now, but it gives me a messy house, people at arms length and poor interpersonal skills.  Being lazy gives me pleasure right now, but it gets me no where in my future.

What does self discipline give me.  Avoiding sugar, carbs and exercising is a chore right now, but later on it gives me energy, weight loss and better health.  Putting down the books until after the work is done gets all my chores done, puts my focus on my business venture and helps me to connect better with people.  Having a plan and sticking to it even when I don't feel like it helps me to accomplish my goals and dreams.

There are times when I want that instant gratification and I find myself ignoring that self discipline that will help me be the person I want to be.  I sometimes lose sight of what is more important, the right now verses the desired future.

I know that if I do the grueling work right now that I will be able to slack off later and have the kind of life I want to have, but sometimes I lose patience and want that ability right now.

I am human.  I may know what I want and much like those kids in the study, the time between right now and the promised future seems so far away.  So I face each new day determined to do what needs to be done for the desired future.  There are days I do well and there are days I don't do so well.  Until I can get consistent and find better ways to motivate myself I will struggle with my goals.

In the meantime I am working on  making my dreams so real to me that I don't mind setting aside that instant gratification.  I was one of those kids who was able to wait the 15 minutes easily so what happened to me?  Life!  It got in the way and I am overcoming all the damage that has been incurred by my environment.  I am trying to give up the good for the better.

Are you struggling with self discipline?  You are not alone.  There are so many people facing the same struggles.  As long as you keep on working on attaining that self discipline you will eventually get there. Even if it takes your whole life, Don't you think it will be worth it?

Book Review: Find Your Extraordinary

Today's review is the book Find Your Extraordinary by Jessica Dilullo Herrin COE and Founder of the Stella & Dot Family Brands.

I do a lot of reading, but one of the things that I try to do is read 30 minutes of personal or professional Development material on a daily basis.

This book has some great inspirational stories and chronicles a unique business building journey.  There are some great advice and tips in this book and I walked away with some motivation to build my own business.

What I liked about this book.  Many people who write books like this do so with an eye to recruiting for their company.  Yes the Author talked about her company but not in a way that left you thinking this was marketing material.

What I didn't like about this book.  Especially toward the end I was left feeling that the author was zealous about political hot button women's issues.  Although I do like how she handled the issues she believed that she faced, I wasn't appreciative about her belief that there were issues to begin with.

I believe very much in the traditional roles of women and motherhood.  Yes I am working to build a business, but I will do so at a much slower pace as my 6 year old is very much my priority.  I agree with her point that there is no such thing as a superwomen and that women can't do it all, but I disagree with the solution to that problem.

If the women's rights issues had been left out, this book would have had a wider audience appeal, but by putting these opinions in her book the author has limited the audience to working women.

This is a book where there is both good and bad.  Read it keeping that in mind so you can take away the good business advice.

Serving versus Selling

In Direct Sales many of us have big dreams and goals.  We want to make x amount of money every month or we want to make to such and such level in the company.  As we work to make these goals we talk to people, we look for places we can reach new people and we promote each special and sale as it comes.

Have you ever walked into a store with big ticket items for sale and were pounced on by a salesperson before you even started looking?    Did this person listen to what you were looking for and direct you accordingly or try to sell you the most expensive item they had?  How would you rate your experience based on how they approached you.? Now put yourself in that salesperson's shoes.  How do you approach your potential customers and recruits?

When you are concerned with how many recruits and sales you have it is easy to focus on what you want to have happen.  When you do this you are selling your product or opportunity.  You are pushing your own agenda and ultimately focused on yourself.  Most people don't like this approach.  There is a reason that used car salesmen are stereotyped in TV and media.  This portrayal is usually not in a very good light either.

When you listen to your potential customers and recruits and show them how your products, services or opportunity will benefit them then you are serving them instead of selling to them.  People are much more open to what you have to offer when they feel like they have been listened to.  By changing the focus from your goals to their needs you will find a much more receptive audience.

When people are more receptive to what you have to offer, you will get farther in your goals because more people will be willing to become a customer, recruit or refer others to you.

The difference between selling and serving is listening.  When you serve you listen and fulfill needs.  When you are selling you are focused on your own desires.

How you approach your business is up to you, but think about what you are looking for in a consumer experience.  If you don't appreciate being sold to the likelyhood is that your target market will not either.  Just something to think about.

Becoming Genuine

I grew up in a turbulent and stressful environment.  As a result I spent much of my life arranging my life as to not make things worse.  I did stand up for myself and for what I believed, but I tried to be everything to as many people as I could so that my life went much smoother than it did at home.

The end result of my reaction to my environment was that as my life progressed I lost more of the real me.  So much so that I began to isolate myself and insulate myself from anything that would cause discomfort.

There were times in my life that I would make an attempt to make changes, but after awhile I would revert back to the person I had become and dig myself a little deeper into my isolation.  It just seemed like I got so little benefit from so much work and discomfort.

I want this time to be different.  Changing the way one thinks is not the easiest thing to do.  I struggle to continue to find the motivation I need to continue doing the things that will help facilitate the desired changes I want.

So what changes do I want to make in my thought processes and lifestyle.  First of all I am constantly battling the negative thoughts that come into my head.  Changing from thinking negatively about every little thing that goes wrong is a very large challenge for me.

Being genuine with others is another challenge that I have.  I am learning to listen more than I talk and trying hard not to insert myself into everyone else's conversations unless invited.  I am trying hard not to turn the conversations toward myself.  This is how I have interacted with people in the past.  Its not that I am conceited, its that I am trying to identify with others by showing I have had similar challenges and experiences.  Unfortunately this comes off as being self- centered.

I find it more easy to be genuine when I write than when I am speaking with a group of people.  Being vulnerable and asking for help is not natural for me since I have spent years not relying on other people and just being a survivor.  This is the reason that I have no close friends.  To others I appear closed off and so others are not willing to make the effort to get to know me better.  When my reality is that I care so much for others that I isolated myself to prevent myself from getting too involved in other people's problems when there was no reciprocated friendship.

My genuine self is nervous and scared that I am not likable and that my tendency to prize facts over feelings drives people away.  Its not so much that I am left brained, but that facts are easier and cleaner to deal with than emotions. If asked how a painting makes me feel I will look at you like you are nuts.  But if you ask me how a story made me feel I will gladly let you know.

Yes I do have some serious defense mechanisms to overcome, but I am diligently working on them.  Identifying those mechanisms is only a fraction of the battle.  Figuring out how to abandon them is the larger part.