Rainy Days and Motivation

Today it is raining buckets.  We haven't had a good rain in a while so I guess you can say that its much needed.  unfortunately rain means gray skies and staying indoors.  No UV light to make that vital vitamin D.  With all that you may just feel like sitting in front of the TV and doing nothing.

First of all its okay to do that once in a while, but if you live in a place where it rains a lot that could lead to some pretty bad habits.  I know that I woke up with a crunchy throat indicating that a cold was coming on as well.  I could have used that as an excuse, but I have been back on track for the last 5 days and I don't want to torpedo my progress right now.

So instead I buckled in and got to my program.  I did my workout, I am logging my food and I have gotten all the outside of the house errands done.  Its only 1:30.  Yeah I still need to do the dishes and vacuum, but that will be following right after I finish this.  When I was out I went and bought some
Cold- Eeze.  Hopefully this will help me to be done with my cold by Monday and I won't miss a beat with my workout.  That's the plan at least.

Its days like this that you may have to reach deep inside you for the motivation to get things done.  I know that even with all I have gotten done so far,  I am still much less motivated than I would be on a brighter day.  So what can you do to push yourself into getting things done when you just don't want to?

Try calling a friend.  Not to chat but to say you are needing a little help with getting things done.  Ask them to call you back in an hour to see if you have gotten going.

Put on some great tunes.  Music can help you to have the energy to get moving and get things done.

Decide on a reward to give yourself when everything is all done.  Like you can have a bubble bath, a piece of chocolate or something else that might motivate you.

Give yourself 10 minutes.  Tell yourself that you will just stick with it for 10 minutes.  Once that 10 minutes has happened you will find that the momentum you gained by doing helps you to keep going past that 10 minutes.

All I know is that for today, I just have a few things more to do and then I can curl up in a blanket and rest while I try to fight off this cold as best I can.

Hope these tips help to motivate you through your next rainy day.

Getting to Why

One of the biggest changes that I have seen in this go round of network marketing is this.  Before you get started setting goals, figure out why you are doing it and write it down.  The why you are doing things is supposed to be your go to point when you are ready to quit what you are doing.

When I first started thinking about my why I thought it was pretty cut and dried.  I wanted to help people and maybe enough money to help afford all the things I wanted to do with my daughter as I home schooled her.  Then I was told that my why needed to bring me to tears almost to be more engaging.  Okay so then I started thinking that I wanted to be debt free with money in the bank so I wasn't so stressed out anymore.  I wanted to be able to remodel my house into something of more quality and I wanted to be able to earn the company car program because I had never owned a brand new car.

I have kept hold of that why.  Even then this why is still not engaging enough.  Yes I know all the great things I can do with money.  The thing is I am not motivated by money.  I have enough and even if we struggle to pay the bills and we don't have health insurance or get to go on vacation as a family, I just don't feel deprived.  So yes I would love to give more to charity and be able to afford online schooling for my child so I am not the one putting the lesson plans together, this is just not enough to keep me motivated when things don't work out as quickly as I would like.

The truth is I just don't think like someone with money and that is holding me back.

So all of my efforts toward understanding my why are just not paying off.  Why may that be?  Could it be that I am not being honest with myself?  Could it be that I am a lot more selfish than I want to believe I am?  The answer is yes.

My reality is that other than being a Mom, all I wanted to do was be a rock star or actress growing up, but I wouldn't pursue that because my mother told me I would never succeed.  My biological Father abandoned his family to pursue this dream and never made it.  Once I decided to choose family over fame, I stopped reaching for the limelight.  I still didn't care about money, I just wanted everyone to know who I was.

If I am being honest with myself now then I need to change my why.  I have been a stay at home Mom for over 20 years.  I do not lack intelligence or skill.  Yes I have raised some pretty great children and will some day sooner than I wish be a great grandmother.  Its not enough for me.  I feel like I have wasted my potential and I want something more.  I want to be able to look back on my life and say see I accomplished something.  As much as I would like to believe that my motivating factor is in reaching out to others, my reality is I really am all about me.  Maybe when I can honestly change my focus to others I will be able to have the dream.

Developing Self-Discipline

Self-discipline, what is that you may ask?  It is the ability to direct oneself in sticking to tasks that you desire to do or not do.  It is the ability to tell yourself no I don't need that and sticking to it.  It is the ability to do the required task even when you don't want to.  This is not something that you are born with.  This is something that you learn.

As children we see something we want, we go after it regardless of good or bad.  We have little to no impulse control.  As we age we can be taught the value of evaluating good from bad, waiting verses right now and future goals verses current desires.

There are some who still do not develop this trait into their adulthood.  There are some who choose not to exercise this trait and there are some who understand this trait, want to have it but find it difficult to do so.

Why is self- discipline important.  Self-discipline is the trait that allows you to achieve goals and dreams.  Self- discipline is the trait that can mean the difference between a happy life and a not so happy life.  Self-discipline is the trait that allows us to act responsibly in difficult situations.

So now that we know how important it is, how exactly do we go about learning and developing this trait?  Much like physical fitness, self- discipline is a trait you develop through action. Once you decide to develop this trait then you begin to use it.  At first it will not be easy.  You may look at that cookie and say I really want that cookie but if I eat it I may not be able to stop at one.  You may look at the undesirable task and find it difficult to get motivated and do it.

Here are some tips:

1.  Develop self- discipline one task at a time.  Don't try to change your life overnight.  Take one task like saying no to something you want or doing one task that you don't like to do, but needs to get done.  Stick with your plan one day at a time. Then add additional things as each task becomes easier.

2.  Find someone who can help keep you on track.  A coach or accountability partner can help you stick with things if you know that you are gong to have to report your success or failure to someone else.

3. Remove temptations from your reach.  If you are trying to stay away from something, don't have it where it will be readily available for you to get.

4. If you are trying to reach a goal and your action plan includes unpleasant tasks, do them as soon in the day as you can.  If you face those tasks early then you can look forward to more enjoyable ones later.

5. Find ways to celebrate your victories.  Reward yourself for sticking with your goals.  But make sure that the reward does not set your self-discipline back.  If you are trying to stay away from something don't reward yourself with it.  Find other ways to celebrate.  If you are trying to do something don't avoid the task as a reward for doing it etc.

You will have set back because no one is perfect.  Don't beat yourself up over it.  Just get back on track and start the journey again.  Be persistent and it will get easier.

Trends in Direct Sales and Marketing

I took my first stab at Direct sales at 18 years old.  That was a long time ago.  I have been with 8 different companies over the last 19 years.  I learned something different with each one.  For the most part I was not ready to have the kind of success I desired because I was not willing to break out of my comfort zone.  That has changed today and I am ready for a different journey.

Through the years the world of Direct sales has changed.  I believe that some of it has changed for the better and some of it has changed for the worse.

What I have learned is that is doesn't matter what company you are with.  As long as the company has a good product you can stand behind and a good compensation plan you can succeed with the right attitude and training.

When I first started out it was all about talking to everyone you know and then to everyone you meet to prospect your next customer or recruit.  This can still be a good place to start.

I have worked with health and wellness companies, cosmetics companies, jewelry companies and home products companies.  Most of the concepts they started teaching were the same.  At first the focus was on sales and growing your team.  Talk to x amount of people a day to get this many people to say yes.  It was all about the numbers game.

One good thing that I have seen change over the years is a change in focus from sales and recruits to relationships and personal development.  The focus is more positive and far from the pushy tactics of the past.  Focusing on the personal development  part helps people gain confidence and skills.

The bad thing that I have noticed is creating leads through bait and switch tactics.  With one company I was with we did vendor events and held drawings for something .  Yes we always gave some kind of gift basket away, but then everyone else was told they won a free facial.  I had a hard time with that because we offered a free facial to anyone so people didn't really win it.  I had a phone call a few weeks ago stating that I had qualified for this great offer because I had recently stayed at one of their resorts.  The only problem was I had never stayed at a resort.

When I first started there were lots of places offering leads if you paid for them.  Now instead of selling leads they are promoting ways to generate your own leads.  Of course you watch a webcast you think will hold valuable information only to have it be a sales pitch to get your email address to buy there software to blog or do webcasts to sell that same software to others when they are not interested in the MLM you are offering.

I personally hate that.  If I want a software program to help my business I will get recommendations from my company leadership not buy something from a webcast that drew me in for the advertised information, but switched to a sales pitch.  When I am approached by others offering these so called funnel software, I tell them up front I believe it to be deceptive business.  For the record this blog is not to funnel you into my MLM.  If you are curious ask me, but I just want to help other people grow and be informed.  If you are new to this business mistakes are easily made and it is always wise to search out those with the experience to help you not make the same mistakes they did.

Resistance Preceeds Change

You have decided to make some changes in your life.  Your goals are set and you have an action plan in place.  All systems are go.  Things seem to be rolling along just fine and then it seems that nothing is working.  You are doing everything on your action plan.  The work is being done, but you are not seeing any progress.  What is going on?

Does this seem to be familiar to you? Are you beginning to believe that the wanted change is hopeless?  Calm down and take a breath.  There may have been one thing that you forgot to include in all your plans.  There is a force called resistance.  You know how Newton's law talks about how something that is in motion stays in motion unless acted upon or the reverse of something not in motion stays that way unless acted upon, well resistance is a force that acts upon things.


Think about it for a minute.  Lets say you are trying to roll a heavy sphere.  At first pushing against it accomplishes nothing.  Sometimes you even have to find some leverage to make it work.  Then once you start things do not progress quickly until you build up some momentum.  Once that momentum is built than watch out.  Unless you do something to stop it that sphere will just keep on rolling.

Change is the same way.  Once you begin to push toward change it may seem like nothing is budging.  You will need to keep at it.  You may have to find some kind of tool to help you get started.  Once you start seeing progress it will seem miniscule until you build up momentum and then it will be hard to keep under control.

What kind of things can cause that resistance?  There are many.  Things like your own mindset, other people, and unexpected events.  So what do you do about it?

First recognize that resistance exists.  Then you need to figure out where that resistance is coming from.  Once you do then you can devise a plan to get around that resistance.  If it your own mindset, what do you need to do to overcome it?  If it is others how can you get them on board?  If its not possible are you willing to leave them behind?  With unexpected events you work around them and change your plan.  If the resistance comes from a lack of knowledge or skill then work on that.

Some great tools could be a mentor or coach, books, organizations, churches, 12 step programs etc.  Find a tool that works with the type of resistance you are experiencing.

Overall do not give up.  Challenges will happen.  Face them head on and with eyes wide open.  If you see them coming they are easier to handle.  You may even have to change course a little bit.  Positive change is always worth it.

Generational Programming

Generations, can be identified by what went on in their lives.  For example since World War 2 you can identify the generation by the war fought during their prime.  In the 40's it was World War 2.  In the 50's it was Korea.  In the late 60's to early 70's it was Vietnam.  In the 80's it was the Cold War.  In the 90's it was The Middle East part 1. Just after the turn of the century it was 9/11 through today and the war on terrorism.

Each of these generations was affected by the events of their day and taught the next a variant of fear based on their experiences.  Many of the views we hold are based on how our Ancestors reacted to their experiences through these wars.

War is not the only thing that colors our views today.  So many have come from abusive, dysfunctional homes.  Whether it be drug or alcohol abuse, anger issues, religious fanaticism, mental health issues or just the belief that someone has the right to beat their families, so many have suffered at the hands that were supposed to care for them the most.

How you were raised and the attitudes you were taught has a great impact on your future success.  If you were raised in a loving home and supported in all of your dreams, you are more likely to succeed.  If you were raised in a home where you were made to feel worthless and that what you wanted was not important, chances are great that you will continue to go along pleasing everyone else.

The mind is a very powerful creator.  Your mindset will determine how you live your life.  Those who see opportunity at every turn will jump for those that fit them.  Those that see nothing but the world stepping all over them will most likely never get anywhere.

Being raised in a mentally ill home, you can imagine that I was not raised in a home supportive of my dreams.  This environment was cultivated over generations and had nothing changed would have continued to spiral downward in the next generations.

If you want to change the way your life is going you have to change how you think before changing what you are doing will achieve better results.

Changing a lifetime of programming is not easy, but it is possible and if you have been negatively programmed, vital for future happiness.  The first step is to recognize the negative programming.  Once you have done that then you can take steps to become reprogrammed.  It will take time and the way that works for me may not work for you.  It will take research and activity to find just what does work for you.

For me affirmations, surrounding myself with positive people,  and reading self-help books  has helped tremendously.  Eventually I will be looking for a coach of some sort to get me the rest of the way.  some of you will require therapy and other intervention before you can even begin to reset your mindset.  What's most important is you can overcome generations of programming if you are willing to do the work.

Honesty Is Still The Best Policy, But Seldom Seen In Business

I had a rather difficult experience yesterday.  My adult daughter called in tears saying she had been let go from a job that she loved.  I went right over and picked her up from her apartment and brought her home because she was devastated and her husband was on a 5 day underway.  She was only a couple of weeks into the job and had actually only worked a total of 8 days.  Each day she worked she was told how well she was doing.  She loved what she was doing and she had really come to like her co-workers.  She went in to start her shift and was a little confused when her employee stuff was gone.

Yes I understand that a company reserves the right within the probationary time period to decide an employee is not working out and I can respect that.  If my daughter had been given any indication that she was not working out or that there was a problem it would have been disappointing but not devastating.  Instead the manager pulled her into the office and explained that they were letting her go.  She proceeded to tell her why and it became really confusing at that point.  The reasons given were things that happened due to unclear policies about social media and an incident where a long time employee did not understand company policy and gave incorrect instructions to my daughter.  If either incident had been addressed prior to this meeting, things could have been easily corrected,  At the end of the meeting the manager proceeded to tell my daughter that she did nothing wrong.  So the question remains why was she let go?

If you think I am ranting because my daughter was let go, you would be wrong.  I am ranting because the employer was not honest in the reasoning behind the action.  We are thinking that the employer realized that she really didn't have a position to fill after all.  If that had been the reason given, that would have been understood.  I have been fired 3 times in my life and none of the reasons given were the real reason.  So why do employers feel they have to come up with lies in order to get rid of employees?  One place was a car dealership where the used car manager would call me babe.  I asked to have him use my name instead and I was fired the next day stating illegible handwriting as the reason and not giving messages to people in a timely manner.

Things happen in business as they do in life.  In the car dealership job it came down to a receptionist with grounds for a sexual harassment case vs a longtime used car manager.  Instead of dealing with the root of the problem they used a band-aid by getting rid of me.( I was the 3 person terminated from that position in 7 months)

I have seen so many dishonest business practices both as a customer and as an employee.  I have seen deceptive sales practices as others were training me in direct sales.  I have worked in a position where the owner went to jail and had his business sold just months after I left the company.

If businesses were honest with their customers and employees then I think that we would be in a much better place in our country.  People are willing to be understanding for the most part when things go wrong.  People do not want to be mislead as they are looking to do business.  Honesty in business will bring stronger success on a real foundation rather than a foundation built on lies and deception.

Tips to avoid the excuses

Yesterday I was dealing with the challenge of a child who decided to pretend to be sick in order to avoid school. This is a ridiculous challenge to have to deal with in our case.  I school my 6 year old child at home and our school day is no longer than 2 hours.

As adults how often do we come up with some kind of lame excuse to avoid doing something that we don't want to do?  How often is that thing that we don't want to do simple with very little time involved, but we just don't want to do it?

Here are some tips on how I get over my excuses that keep me from doing things I need to do, but find myself avoiding.

1.  Write down all of the tasks that need to get done.  If it is written down where I have to look at it then it will nag at me until I do it.

2.  Do the things that I seem to want to avoid first.  If I tackle them first then the fun things will take up the balance of my day.

3.  Recognize the importance of doing that task I want to avoid.  If I focus on why the task must be done then it tends to overcome not wanting to do it.

4.  Look at the consequences for not completing the task.  Ask yourself are the results of not doing it worth the avoidance.

5.  Grit your teeth and just get it done.  The sooner you do it the sooner you will be finished with it.

I am certainly not perfect and these don't always work, but for the most part these 5 simple tips help me to get things done and manage my time better.

Life a delicate balancing act

From the days of elementary school sometimes even before we are urged to do more and be more.  Often in school you will find various groups.  There are the kids who do nothing but schoolwork and more studying in their free time.  There are the kids that go from sport to sport to sport barely scraping by on the grade point average requirements that allow them to play.  There are the kids who go to school and then work and have no time for a personal life.  There are those that do nothing but party.  As we age this trend continues as we are urged to add more things to look good on a college application.  We go from activity to activity barely having enough time for adequate sleep.

As adults this lifestyle of cramming our time full of things to do becomes ingrained.  Then we begin the cycle all over again as we teach our children this lifestyle.  Our world has become so busy that we barely have time to breathe anymore.  What is the result of all of this?  Obesity and disease. Inability to sleep.  Mental health issues in almost half of the population, and an overall feeling of dissatisfaction.

How do we combat all of this?  Its called balance.  We all have a work life, a family life, an intellectual life etc.  So many things we need to do or places we need to be.  But is this really the case?  You need to have a way to provide the material things such as food, shelter and clothing so a way to create income is necessary.  What about everything else.  If you are part of a family then family time is important.  If you have a spiritual life and value it then it should be a priority.  The only other priority that should be considered would be taking care of you.  Everything else is extra and can be eliminated.

Taking care of yourself will help you to have the energy to do everything else and prevent illness as well.  Working provides you with all the things you need to live, but it should not be your life.  Family needs your support and strength.  Your spiritual life helps to keep you grounded what ever form that might take.

As you learn to understand the need for balance in your life you will find that there is a place for everything in its time and season.  By focusing on several parts of your life rather than putting all your energy into just one a sense of peace and calm will follow.

You can't be everything to everyone.  Focus on what your life priorities are.  Make sure you find time for friends, family and yourself.  You just might find a better you.

Getting Back on Track

Its the  1st day of spring and you suddenly realize that you have gotten off course from the goals and resolutions you set in January. Now what?  You can go ahead and decide that you will never reach those goals and quit or you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on track.

Getting back on track can be even more difficult than getting started.  Why?  Well you already have a history with those goals you set.  You started out and then for whatever reason got lost along the way.  You may be hesitant to begin again thinking you are just going to get off track again.

So you have some questions to ask yourself.  Why did you get off course?  Were you not really committed?  Did life get in the way?  Did you start making excuses? Did a wrench get thrown into the works and derail all your progress? You need to be honest with yourself.  The answers to these questions will determine your next course of action.

So here is my advice no matter what the answers to those questions are.  First of all decide not to quit.  You won't get anywhere if you do.  Accept where you are now and chart a course forward.  As you chart your course address those issues and challenges that got you to where you are.  If you do not they will just crop up again.

Just because we take a detour or two on our way to our final destination does not mean that you will never get there.  These course corrections are commonplace and teach you many things.  Don't beat yourself up over them.

Living and working with integrity

I believe in having integrity in all that I do.  That means that as a member of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints, that I live my beliefs 7 days a week and not just on Sundays.  I believe in loving God with all my heart, mind and might.  I also believe in loving my neighbor as myself.

What does this mean exactly.  Everything that I do reflects my belief system.  As I deal with others I realize that there are things that they may do that I don't agree with.  I can still interact with them and treat them with respect.  Not everyone has the same values and standards that I do.  It doesn't mean that I won't stand up for what I believe in.  I believe in being honest with my fellow man in all that I do.  That means that I won't follow deceptive business practices like telling someone they won something when you offer it to all new prospects or stating something is free and then charging a shipping and handling fee.  I believe that those practices are wrong so I won't do them.  Others don't have the same standard and doing these practices does not mean that they have no integrity.

For me integrity means that you do what you say and you live what you believe.  Not everyone has the same standards as I, so integrity means different things to other people.  If you are thinking about how you conduct your life affects others in a positive way and not just how it will affect you, then you are living with integrity.

If you want to get ahead in business or your personal life, you will find that living with integrity,(Having a set of values and sticking to them)will get you a whole lot farther than if you don't.  Live with integrity.  People will trust you more and you will have more friends.

Overcoming Challenges part 5 When you reach the end of the road

We deal with many challenges in life.  In our personal life, in our working life and in our social life.  The challenges we face are designed to teach us important life lessons and create a better person than we start out as.  How we face these challenges is the true nature of our character.

There is a time in all of our lives that the goals we seek fail to materialize in spite of all the work we do to make them happen.  There are professional sports stars who retire never having earned a professional national title.  There are beauty queens who do not get the crown.  There are students who do not reach the valedictorian title they shot for.   These are all situations where very few get to have the desired accolade and there is but a short time that one can seek after it.

How we deal with the end of the road can be just as much of a challenge as the obstacles we face during the journey toward that end.  When all of the resources have been utilized.  Every challenge faced, every ounce of effort wrenched from your body to fall just short of the desired goal is gut wrenching and heartbreaking.  How do we face this great failure?

Maybe we should start by a change in perspective.  Falling short of reaching a goal is not a failure if you have given your all.  Along the journey you have gained experience, knowledge, tools and wisdom.  You may not have reached the desired destination, but you have received gifts just the same.  What can you do with those gifts to chart a new course?

Its okay to grieve and be upset that you did not reach your dream.  Once you have done that, then its time to move in a new direction and begin a new journey that may have an even better destination end than the one you did not reach.  Don't ever be afraid to go for it.  In the end who you become is dependent on the direction you keep moving.

Overcoming Challenges part 4 its time to ask for help

How many of us go through life trying to do everything ourselves?  You look at a challenge and say I should be able to be strong enough to get through this all by myself.  As the challenge does not end and goes on and on we continue to say I can do this by myself.  Did you ever stop to think that part of the challenge is to learn to ask for help?

I know that this is one of my biggest problems.  Asking for help seems like something that only weak people would do and I am not weak.  At least that is what I tell myself.  The reality is that strong people know when they are facing a challenge they cannot overcome on their own.  They begin to reach out to the people who have the resources available to help them meet the challenge head on.

For some that means a simple reach out to their God or for some the Universe to ask for what they need.  Many times it goes beyond that and once God or the Universe has been asked the resource comes from someone with the knowledge and resources to help.  If you have an injury or an illness needing an operation, you wouldn't do it yourself.  

Other times reaching out for help involves looking to people who have been there themselves.  Getting a mentor, seeking out your upline, getting a coach.  That doesn't mean just reading a book it actually means looking for people who can guide you through your challenge through advice, tips and tricks that will address your challenge specifically.

As a project head challenges are often in the form of learning to delegate and breaking down the project into manageable tasks for others to assist with.    For health issues it means reaching out to doctors and sometimes home health aides.  

There are many different kind of challenges.  Every one of them has an opportunity to seek out those with more experience for help.  Even if that help is just a shoulder to cry on or a sounding board.  Don't be afraid to seek out that help.  It may just make the difference between success and failure.

Overcoming Challenges part 3 outside influences

Challenges often come from forces outside of ourselves.   Things like, those closest to us not supporting what we are doing, other peoples choices or actions, health issues, weather etc.  How do we deal with that?

When we set goals like getting a degree where all we have to do is finish certain tasks and we will achieve our goal, its easy.  When we set a goal where other people who we can't control are involved it gets more difficult.  That is where your level of commitment comes in to play.  If you are a team leader on a project you can monitor your team, prepare for any contingency, do everything you were tasked with doing and in spite of your best effort have one team member not do their part even when they kept assuring you they were on it. When you are in sales you can talk to a lot of people, believe in your products, share your passion, but at the end of the day have dismal sales.  You can work for months to get a promotion or position and then have someone else get that desired spot.   At that point you may ask yourself, what now?

First of all must come the realization that you can only control your own actions and choices.  How you react to what other people do can be the difference between your ultimate success or failure.  If you give up on your goal because of other people's choices then you will fail.  If you take an attitude that you have had a set back and recommit to your goals then you can ultimately succeed.  Once you recommit to that goal take a hard look at what has happened.  Ask yourself what do I need to do different?  Was there anything else I could have done? What can I learn from this?  Do I need to go another direction to achieve my goal?  Once you have the answers to your questions you apply then to the action plan you have for your goal.

Outside forces will always be there.  You will have set backs.  If you don't then maybe you are not reaching high enough and you are setting goals that are not helping you to grow.  How you deal with your challenges and set backs is paramount to your success.  Above all else do not give up.  Only those who stick with it will ever achieve their dreams.

Overcoming Challenges part 2 When we are the challenge

Challenges come in all forms.  Sometimes our worst challenge can be ourselves.  We want big things in life,  We want to make major changes.  We want things to be different, but no matter how hard we try things just seem to not work.  We are doing our best to make things happen, but we feel like we are not getting anywhere.

Why does this happen?  Well there are several reasons.  Many times things don't happen for us because we keep doing the same thing and expecting different results.  Sometimes we have good intentions but we are not completely committed to a new course.  Sometimes we want these good things, but we sabotage ourselves.  There is this force out there called resistance. This force makes any kind of change difficult to initiate.  This force can come from others or even from ourselves.  Others may fear what will happen if things change for us.  We may fear what will happen if things change for us.

How do we overcome the resistance that we create for ourselves?  First you need to take an honest look at your actions.  Do they reflect the desired outcome?  If not what do you need to do to change that?  If so are you doing those actions consistently?  2nd  have you truly committed to a new course of action or are you waiting to see if it really works?  3rd do you do your actions consistently then back off just when things are starting to get momentum?  4th are you doing the same actions that are not gaining results again and again hoping that the results will eventually change?

If you want things to be different, you must change what you are doing.  You must stay committed to that change even when it gets hard.  You must overcome whatever fear is causing you to back away from those changes and you must be persistent until the desired change happens.  Doing something good is never easy, but it is always worth it.

Over coming challenges part one

I thought that I would do a series on overcoming challenges this week.  All of us face challenges everyday.  Those challenges can go from being small like your alarm not going off and being late to an  appointment to the bigger things like losing a multi-million dollar account to a competitor.  Life happens and things get in the way of us making our goal come to fruition.

This weekend was one of those challenges.  I had plans to blog, follow up with prospects and then rest and rejuvinate on Sunday to prepare for the following week.  Well things did not go according to plan.  Friday night I was asked to help set-up on Saturday for my nieces wedding.  What I thought would take a few hours ended up being an all day thing, with just enough time to get home to shower and get my family ready to attend the wedding.  At the wedding I was far more involved than I had planned to be and didn't get home until past 10PM.  It was daylight savings time and we had church at 9AM the next morning.  I had every intention of going to church on Sunday.  My alarm went off at 7 in plenty of time to get up and get ready.  As I went to go turn my alarm off the realization that not only did I have a headache, but every part of my body was in pain from a bad fibromyalgia flare hit me and I realized that church was not going to happen.  It didn't matter how much rest I got I was exhausted all day and then I couldn't get to sleep last night and neither did my 6 year old.  So I didn't get back on schedule for home school and exercise either this morning.

So what now?  My entire schedule for the last 3 days has been completely derailed and my routine disturbed.  Do I let this derail me for the rest of the week?  Of course not.  This is just a minor set-back and can easily be overcome and put back on track.  So how will I do this?  I need to look at what I can catch up on, decide on what can't and then plan the rest of my day and week accordingly.  So my blog posts for the weekend will be eliminated and that's okay.  The follow ups can be done today.  School for today can be skipped and started up once again on Wednesday after co-op on Tuesday.  I can reevaluate my readiness for exercise tomorrow, but follow my nutrition plan and take my supplements today.  By the end of the week my schedule should be back to what was intended and this set of challenges will only be a small bump on the road.

We can't always control what is thrown our way, but we can control how we handle those challenges.  The rest of this week I will be talking about different ways to handle challenges big and small.  I hope that my words will help you see your challenges is a new way.

Learning to get out of your comfort zone

A year ago I was safely in my comfort zone.  I only associated with a few family members and had no real friends.  My outings out of the house consisted of church, the grocery store, the library and the occasional night out with my husband.  Yes it was safe, but it was stagnant and lacked variety.

Fast forward to now.  I have stretched that comfort zone by quite a bit.  Now my outings consist of Grace Academy Homeschool Co-op, The library, The grocery store, Church, Business Among Moms, Outer Banks Entrepreneurs, Ladies nights out, and various meet ups.  There is still a lot more out there for me and the next year will find me stretching that comfort zone out even more.

First of all if my comfort zone was safe, why would I want to stretch it.  As mentioned before your safe comfort zone means little to no growth.  Growth takes risk of some kind.  If you are completely comfortable doing something then there is no risk.  Doing something you have not done before or meeting new people can be daunting for some and terrifying for others.

Taking those first steps out of my little world was not easy.  I had isolated myself because I was tired of reaching out to make friends and realize that the friendships were more important to me than they were to them.  I was tired of always being there for other people and never having them there for me.  It was easier to deal with things by myself than having a hope that others might be there for me and have that be a false sense of security.

I will be honest.  I still do not have friends.  I have a lot of people that I associate with, but not anyone I can call up at 2 AM asking for help.  I am working on that.  Becoming vulnerable to others is currently outside my comfort zone, but that is my next challenge to tackle.  I don't like to have others see me as weak.

So what are the steps to help get you out of your comfort zone?  First is a desire for growth.  What do you want to accomplish in life and what do you need to do to accomplish it?  Write down those goals and the steps it will take.  Next identify your challenges and obstacles to your dreams.   Ask yourself what is holding you back from jumping right in and tackling those steps?  Once you can honestly answer yourself you will begin to discover the edges of your comfort zone.  Third its time to face the fear and discomfort that is holding you back.  Just take the first step no matter how frightening that may be.  Enroll in that class.  Send out that resume, Sign up with that company.  Audition for that show etc.  What ever that first step may be just grit your teeth and do it.  Once you have then breath. You will realize that taking that first step did not end in utter disaster.  After taking that first step you will soon see that your confidence grows and it becomes easier to take the next step after each one is accomplished.

There will come times when taking more steps become hard once again.  When that happens you are facing another growth jump.  It will be time to start the process once again.  Getting out of your comfort zone may not be the easiest thing in the world, but I promise you it will be worth it in the end.

Its not selfish to make self care and your health a priority.

We are busy people who wear many hats.  As a Mom I am a maid, nurse, cook, personal shopper, taxi service, accountant and therapist.  As a business woman I add even more responsibilities to that list.  I am not alone.  There are so many people in the world that are busy enough to only see their homes at breakfast and bedtime.  They are on the go from the time that they get up in the morning to the time that they go to sleep.  This is an unhealthy and unsustainable lifestyle.  When you are under that much stress and burn the candle at both ends, it eventually comes back to bite you.  Your immune system takes a big hit and your body will finally say if you don't rest I will make you.

When a person's body finally screams out enough is enough then you are down for the count.  Illness will take over.  In some severe cases this could be serious enough to require hospitalization.  When that happens then how can you get what you need done?  How are you able to take care of all of your responsibilities?  I have a Father-in Law who is a workaholic.  He is in his 70's and is still working.  About 15 years ago he was forced to take a break when he got Pneumonia.  Unfortunately this did not get the message to him and he just finished cancer treatment.  Once again he is back at work even though, there are people to take over his company so that he can retire.

How do we prevent these serious interruptions in our life?  Many of these illnesses are preventable.  I am not talking about vaccines or anything like that.  I am talking about lifestyle changes.  The first thing that needs to happen is that people need to start getting enough sleep.  Stop taking stimulants to get through your day in order to make it through.  Sleep is when our body heals little injuries and fights illness the most and if you are not getting enough then your body is not working optimally.
Pay attention to what you are eating.  Its not just about obesity.  Its about making sure you get the proper nutrients for you body to fight illness and function.  Add healthy supplements because our soil has become polluted and corrupted and the nutrients are being leached from it and anything that grows in it.  Studies are showing that sugar is now the biggest threat to health not fat.  Overindulgence in  sugar can lead to diabetes, heart disease and other health problems.  Eat enough protein.  Protein contains amino acids which are the building blocks for not only good muscle health, but all the hormones and chemical that send signals in our nervous system. If we don't eat enough protein then those hormones may not be manufactured in high enough quantities to prevent mood disorders or other nervous system illnesses.

Stress itself can cause major health problems.  We all experience stress so we need to learn to deal with it in healthy ways.  This includes exercise, meditation, and taking time out from our busy lives to recuperate and decompress.  This includes time management skills and learning to cut out those things in our life that do not align with our priorities.  Many of us need to learn the word NO.

If we continue to pour out our energy on other people without refilling that energy, then eventually there will be no more to give out and our bodies will let us know that it can not continue.  So take care of yourself.  Take time out to rest and rejuvinate.  Doing so will allow you to yell less, overcome stressful situations and enjoy your life.  This is not selfish.  It actually ends up making those who live around you have better lives as well.  As your own stress levels diminish then so do the stress levels of those around you because you are no longer giving off an energy of desperation.

Achieving my dream one business at a time.

I will never say that women and some men are't great multi-taskers because they really are.  I have met some wonderful women who are doing so many things.  Wives, Mothers, employees, business owners etc.  I have even met some great people who do multiple businesses.  They are busy and doing well.  There is nothing wrong with their choice for themselves.

As for me I am making a different choice because it is the right one for me.  I am active in church, homeschooling my daughter, taking care of the household, working on my relationship with my spouse and finding ways to serve the community.  I am also working to build a business.  Just one.  I come across so many great companies and products and sometimes I am tempted to look at another company, but I made the choice to only do one at a time and that decision keeps me in check.

You may ask so why have you made the choice to only do one.  I will tell you.  I do have big dreams.  My dreams include being debt free and having the money to do all of the extra educational things I can with my daughter.  I want to drive off a Lexus car lot with a brand new straight from the factory car for the first time in my life.  I want to travel and rebuild the home I live in into my husbands and my's dream home.  I also want to be able to give to charities close to my heart with more than my time and energy.  I also want to be able to help others to be successful and overcome challenges as I have.  So once again why am I only doing one business?

Here is my reason.  I am already a very busy person.  My time and resources are limited.  As a business owner, I want to optimize those resources and for me that means focusing on one business at a time.  I don't want to be the person that builds relationships and when people start asking me what I do start listing several businesses in the hopes that they might be interested in one of them.  I want to be able to say this is who I am and this is the company that I work with.  I believe that it lends more credibility to me as a business person if I am being loyal to one company.

If my goal is to get to the top of a company pay structure and not just to make money, then it makes sense to me to work with one company until I reach that goal.  If I am dividing my time between two or even three companies then, it will take longer for me to reach that goal.  So I think that the choice I have made is motivated by the goal I set.  My goal may be different from those who are doing multiple businesses.

If you are thinking about doing something like this?  Think about what your ultimate goal is for becoming an entrepreneur.  Are you looking to just make extra money and want to have multiple options to offer in order to increase chances of gaining customers? Are you looking to become a part of a company's leadership?  Are you looking for social opportunities?  All of these come into play when you are looking for a company or companies to join.  Some other things you might want to consider as you look at all of your options.  What kind of training and support are you looking for?  How about recognition?  What kinds of products or services can you get excited about?

Once I reach the top of my company's pay structure I might want to look at another challenge.  If and when the time comes I will revisit this choice.

Motivation and momentum

So today is Monday.  Its the beginning of the week and a day to set the tone for the rest of the week.  What exactly does that mean?  For me it means that I look at all that I want to get done today and I make sure that I get it done.  I am a big planner and list maker.  I plan yearly, monthly, weekly and daily.  My grocery runs take very little time because I write down what I need to get and only get what is on my list.  If something comes up that needs to be done it goes on my to do list.

Some of you may think that writing everything down and planning so regularly makes me a little rigid.  I will admit that there was a time that I would have my list and one of the things I would put on that list would be to make the bed.  On Saturdays my husband would stay in bed and watch t.v.  just so I couldn't make it and watch me go crazy.  I did get over that.  I learned that there are things that are priorities and things that are not.  So I learned to be flexible with my list and schedules.

That being the case why do I make sure that I do everything on my list on Monday's?  Simply put doing my entire Monday list sets the tone for the rest of the week.  If I get it all done I begin a routine and then the rest of my week looks very much the same.  If I am lazy on Monday and don't get my list done, its pretty likely that the rest of my week will look much the same.

My daily list consist of household chores, personal development, school for my daughter(we homeschool), business tasks for my Plexus business, Meditation time, exercise time and scheduled appointments and meetings.  For example today's list includes changing and making the beds, grocery shopping, laundry, school, exercise, scriptures, journaling, vacuuming, taking my supplements, blogging, personal development and saying my affirmations.  There are other things on there as well, but I don't put things like dishes and making dinner because that won't get done unless I do them at this point and they stare at me until I do them.

I am a self motivator.  I don't  generally need someone else to encourage me to get things done, but when it comes to unpleasant task especially in my business it is sometimes helpful to have an accountability partner.  In the direct sales business if you are not meeting and talking to new people your business doesn't grow.  If I have to report to someone that I actually talked to people, I am a little more likely to do it.  I try to reach out to 3 new people 6 days a week about my products or business opportunity.  Eventually the consistency will pay off and I will be running a highly successful business.  That is only if I am consistent.

When it comes to my business I am still working on being consistent and not coming up with excuses.  85% of the people who consistently work their business for 5 years end up in the top income bracket for their company. That is what I want to reach for.  I just finished year one, but I wasn't very consistent.  I am looking for this next year to go even better as I apply all that I have learned and consistently do the things that will get my products and business in front of people.  I still have a long way to go, but I am amazed at how far I have come in the last year.  I can't wait to see where I will be next year at this time.

Sunday Musings

For me today is the Sabbath Day.  Its a day of rest from worldly labors and a day to devote to the spiritual.  That means that along with my 3 hour church day I forgo recreational activities.  For me the Sabbath Day means to not only abstain from work for myself but to not cause others to work either.  So that means no movie theaters, restaurants, grocery stores, gas stations etc.  I do all my preparations on Saturday so that Sunday can be given to other things.

This is an unusual way of life, I will admit.  There are so many of the Christian faith that feel like going to church on Sunday is the only thing they need to do to keep the Sabbath Day holy as stated in the 10 commandments.  I am not trying to call any of you who feel that way on the carpet.  Its not for me to judge.  This is simply a statement of who I am.

So what do I do instead of all those worldly things I do on the other 6 days of the week.  In the morning I get up and put on worship music as we eat breakfast and get ready for church.  Then it is off to church for 3 hours.  Once back home we get serve yourself lunch.  Simple fare that is easy to put together.  I put a roast in the slow cooker so that it is ready to eat by dinnertime.  After that I spend my time reading from magazines published by my church, ready books published by my church and read the lessons for the following week so that I can fully participate in the classes.

Once a month I write letters to some women who don't come out to church and include our monthly newsletter to let them know what is happening in our congregation.  I also want these women to know that someone is thinking of them and that they are welcome and wanted.

Sunday is a time to spend with family.  We have a large extended family and that often means that we get together from time to time.  Sundays are often the only time we are all available to get together.

If the opportunity to serve others comes, even if it requires physical labor, then we do our best to meet whatever need arises.

We are human and the rest of my family doesn't necessarily observe the Sabbath as strictly as I do.  As a result after church you will find the TV on in my home and my husband does watch the Superbowl every year.

Even for members of my faith Sabbath observance is personal and open to interpretation.  There is no list of you can do this and you can't do that.  There is just a general guideline given to follow with the membership following to the extend their own conscience requires.

The point of this is to become more Christlike.  Learn to treat others with Love as he would have and learn to love God with all our heart, might and mind.  For are not these the 2 great commandments.  Love God and Love our Neighbors.  That is who I am striving to be.  To love God and my neighbors as Jesus did.

Milestone marker in this great journey called life

So today is a big day for me.  Why, you ask?  Well for two reasons 1 year ago today I made the decision to try some nutritional supplements as a wholesale buyer.  That decision has radically changed my life.  I have been posting about transition, transformation and evolution.  I got that from one of the many business building and self help books that I have been reading.  Last year at this time I had only 94 Facebook friends.  My day consisted of taking care of my household, my family and then reading during any and all free time that I could find.  If I had to go be around people I would come home mentally and physically exhausted.  Basically I was living some kind of half life and merely existing in the world.

Lets fast forward to today.  Today I have close to 700 Facebook friends.  I am actively involved with a home school Co-op as a teacher,  I belong to several women's groups,  I have been asked to head up a book club for church, and I rarely spend an entire weekend at home.  Being around people is energizing instead of taxing.  What a radical difference a year has made.

Over the last year I have learned so much.  I am just beginning to realize just what I am capable of and am gaining the confidence to actually do it.

So what is the 2nd reason?  Well today an article I wrote and submitted to Mormon Women Stand has been published.  This is part of learning about what I am capable of.  Before my writing was just to put an idea down on paper so I could get it out and stop bugging my family with my opinions.  I really didn't believe that what I had to say had value.  I had felt so marginalized for so long that I really thought that I was better being invisible.  That is no longer the case.  This one event has shown me that there are people out there who not only find what I have to say interesting, but believe that it has value to others as well.

Today marks a new beginning for me.  The last year has been about self-discovery and personal growth.  That is very important especially when you have isolated yourself into a cave and stopped being part of the world.  The next step for me is to take what I have learned and apply it.  Will I stop learning? Absolutely not!  I have only begun to understand just what I am capable of doing.  Yes I have some confidence and excitement, but I have so much more to learn.  i have been given some wonderful talents and gifts.  I am beginning to discover what those are and they are not what I originally thought they were.  The trick now is to figure out just what to do with them and how I can benefit other people with those gifts.

My business will only be part of my journey the next year.  I hope to take what I have learned and be able to help others achieve the kind of transformation I did. I also plan on being very active in my blogging but the tone of what I write will change.  Before it was all about current events and just needing to put my voice down on paper.  Now I blog with an eye to being an inspiration to others and hoping that my journey will have value to others who have struggled like I have.  My fight and struggles are my own, but I hope that you will find some aspect that will help you through a trial in your life.

Geneology of mental illness

I am not shy about my families genetic background.   That of which I know anyway.  This genetic background plays a large part in who I was and who I am becoming.  Lets begin with this.  My maternal grandmother was adopted so on that side is where I have to start.  With my own experiences I think that it goes even farther back.  I never got to meet her.  She took her own life when my mother was 6 years old leaving her to be raised by her grandmother since her father really didn't want her.  My Grandfather came from a father who cheated on his wife had a baby with his mistress and then adopted him.  My great Grandfather was an alcoholic.  My paternal grandmother was also an alcoholic.  My Father had his own issues which have no label at this point .  My Mother was diagnosed as a clinical depressive when I was a teenager.  My sister has severe anxiety and depression.  I was diagnosed with Dysthymia with a generalized anxiety disorder accompanied by panic attacks.

The bottom line was I grew up in a mentally ill world.  This world colored everything I did, from comments from family to my own internal dialog.  As I went through school I found myself being able to overcome most of that programming and achieve things in spite of it.  All that changed once I graduated.  I stopped reaching for things that I wanted, believing I would never achieve them.  I got pregnant before marriage simply trying to fill an emptiness I felt inside.  I did marry and have been able to stay married for the last 23 years only because I have an incredibly patient husband who has learned to work with me.  I started isolating myself simply because I got tired of attracting people as friends who were more mentally ill then I was and who were always needing me with no one able to be there for me when I needed someone.

A couple of years ago I got very tired of that spiral down I was on.  I started searching for something better.  I looked at nutrition and I looked at setting goals.  Then I decided to combine both and that has made all the difference.  Dysthymia does not respond real well to medication.  For me the side effects far outweighed the benefits so I choose not to take medications.  I have found that regulating my blood sugars, eating more protein, exercising, and taking good supplements do more for me without the side effects.  I have energy and my moods are much better.  I still have bad days but they are fewer and shorter in duration.

Why do I post about this?  This is part of where I come from and why my transformation process is such a big deal.  I made a choice to be proactive with this genetic disorder that I have.  I made the choice to do the things it took to not have the disorder be a hindrance for me.  This is not an easy road.  On top of the nutrition and goals, I also do daily affirmation and read books regularly to lift me up.  I have begun to associate with people who are doing the same.  If I stop doing any of these things the disorder takes over.

I am in a direct sales company.  I have done many before and failed at each one, but I realized that I learned something with each one.  With this new company not only do the supplements work wonders for me, but the culture of self improvement has lead to a confidence I have never had before.  Yes I have a lot to overcome, but I will and the success will come as I strive to rise above the genetic geneology I am faced with.

Transition, transformation and evolution.

I haven't posted a blog in quite awhile.  Life happened and my focus changed.  Recently I have had some things happen in my life that has once again changed my perspective.  A year ago I was depressed, lacked motivation and felt I had no purpose in my life.  I went looking.  I thought about going back to school, but still could find no degree program I was interested in.  I did take some free online classes.  I started a local women's Facebook group to bring women in my congregation together with a thought of doing the same for women locally outside of my congregation.  Then I was asked to give Plexus products a try.


This is not a blog to try and get you anywhere near Plexus.  This is simply the story of how my life has changed since then.  I am getting ready to celebrate one year with this company and I want to share just how my life has changed as a result.  Is Plexus the cause?  Well it might have had a hand in it, but I was looking to change and Plexus has been the vehicle that has allowed me to do so.

I was really looking for something, anything that would get me out of the mire I had found myself in and I felt that the first step would be losing weight.  I signed up with Plexus as a wholesale buyer thinking that there was no way the products would work.  I not only lost weight, but I felt so much better that my whole outlook on life changed.  I decided to give the business a go.


I will be honest, I am not wildly successful in the business of Plexus.  I have no recruits and only a few customers after almost a year of effort.  That is not why I am transforming.  When I started with Plexus I had isolated myself and had no friends.  Now almost a year later and I find myself out of the house more often than in the house.  My weekends are busy and not just with stuff for Plexus.  In my effort to build a business I started joining meetup groups, going to events, networking with other women and joining Facebook groups that find me not only seeking, but offering support to others.  I started reading everything I could about social network marketing, business building, and confidence building.

I have not reached my weight loss goals, but I am working out and eating healthier.  I will get there in time as I stick with my healthy habits that have been hit and miss the past year.  I have been surprised at the strength that I didn't realize I had and what I am truly capable of doing.

Over the last year I have been homeschooling my now 6 year old.  We started out with a co-op.  At first I was just a helper for a couple of classes.  For the 2nd semester I am teaching 2 classes and helping with a 3rd.  I just married of my 2nd youngest daughter at age 18 to a wonderful man.  It has been hectic and joyful at the same time.  I also submitted a post for an organization that reaches close to 60,000 and had it accepted.  This has caused me to come back to my blog and pick it up again.  Just maybe I do have something to say that can inspire and build another person.

I am still at the beginning of this journey and I hope that you dear reader find value in the insights i pick up and choose to share as I continue on the road of transition, transformation and evolution.